Mary Phillips-Sandy

…it’s not my favorite skyscraper, it’s not the roof of the Met, it’s not the bridges, it’s not the statuary. Mostly it’s the bleary light on the tiles and the free papers in the gutter and the sharp smell of dyed carnations. It’s the traffic island at the mouth of Second Avenue and the sensation of giving yourself over to other people’s movement.

My point is, New York, I’ll see you tomorrow. It’s been a while and I want to get real mundane with you.

Item! Carrie Tryharder is running a sweet summer contest, and you have until Friday, July 3 to enter.
Details are as follows:

The task: Turn this spam headline into something entertaining: Police end funereal striptease acts.
The format: Short story, comic, photo essay, pop tune, whatever, as long as it is bloggable
The prize: A box of awesome from tryharderland sent straight to your door!
The deadline: Friday, July 3

Want to enter? Of course you do. Go here.

Item! Tri-named virtuoso John Dermot Woods has a sweet offer for those who pre-order his forthcoming novel by July 15.
Details go a little something like this:

My novel (with drawings), The Complete Collection of people, places & things, is being published by BlazeVOX Books next month. To celebrate we’re offering the book for $12 with free shipping (that’s 25% off) to everyone who pre-orders by July 15. AND, the first 50 people who order will also receive:
- a signed and numbered silkscreen print, to commemorate the book’s release
- a personalized copy with a signed, limited edition book plate

Take advantage of John’s generosity right here.

Item! I once played a newsboy in a production of Irwin Shaw’s Bury the Dead. My only line was “Extry, extry, read all about it!”
Delivered with gusto, and a little tweed cap.

It’s the gift that will never ever stop giving.

Via the Organic Trade Association.

Well well, remember the second tag on this post? Yeah, looks like someone I work with was on that concept months ago. (Click the link and scroll down to resolution #7.) And no, I hadn’t noticed that post before, but it’s pretty clearly a sign from the universe.

ps. Mary, did you wake up this morning and start googling “rock opera” + “Lehman Brothers” “Bear Stearns,” almost before the coffee started brewing? MAYBE. POSSIBLY. Not telling.

Obviously — obviously — I saw and bookmarked the WaPo “where is he now” story on John Edwards. And obviously (obviously!) I made mental note of the money quote:

Yet as he spends his days in his family’s mansion on the outskirts of Chapel Hill, N.C., Edwards can’t help but fret about how Washington and the country are getting on in his absence.

That John Edwards! Always thinking of others, etc. etc.

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Ha, so, this. I don’t condone crazed overreaction to innocent mistakes, nor do I “row with a lot of other women who share the same first name,” but I may as well take this opportunity to lay out the guidelines for using my nickname, which, if you have to ask “what’s your nickname,” the answer is no.

I would like to dedicate this list to the hapless intern who could’ve used it.

Approved for nickname clearance:

• Relatives, including and limited to parents, sibling, aunts, uncles, first cousins.
• Anyone who was my doubles partner on the Waterville Senior High tennis team.
• Anyone who contributed to my zine. Oh, and Mike and Trey (who I think just ran ads, but count anyway).
• Anyone who lived on a hill in Worcester between the years 1995 and 1999 AND took classes with my favorite professor OR lived in Hanselman in 1994 or 1995 AND doesn’t suck.
• Anyone with whom I have been in a band (that has played at least one show in public).
• Anyone who has spent more than half an hour on the roof of 510 Clinton St. AND knows at least three people who have been on the lease there.
• Anyone with whom I have spent more than one hour in a coffee shop within the past two years, on more than two occasions.

Not approved for nickname clearance:

• Everyone else.

While I’m at it, NO:

• “Where’s your lamb?”
• “How does your garden grow?”
• Blah blah blah “contrary”
• “Why you buggin’?”
• “Along comes”
• Blah blah blah hyphen confusing wah wah punctuation in name it’s too complicated, little dash-shaped mark, cannot process

YES:

• “It’s a grand old name!”

In a wide-ranging conversation, she explained that Alex had kind of dated Katie before he went out with Claire so Claire wouldn’t talk to Sarah because Sarah was Katie’s best friend since like third grade.

In a wide-ranging discussion with the dairy case stocker, he said that the nonfat sour cream really did taste different but the nonfat yogurt was about as good as the regular.

In a wide-ranging interview, he revealed his desire to be a team player while adding value to the firm.

In a wide-ranging conversation with the bewildered tourists, she suggested that Route 201 would be fastest but the Back Road might be more scenic, although you’d have to remember to take the detour around the old Lemieux place because the road washed out last weekend and they haven’t gotten around to fixing it yet.

Front page of the hometown paper today.

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