Mary Phillips-Sandy

1. Today I missed New York, specifically the feature that allows you to enter a zen-like trance by walking 30+ blocks to a distant subway stop before heading home. Driving past a series of exits on 295-South is not the same.
1a. I promptly forgot about the city when I got back to Portland and saw [...]

I went to the cell phone store yesterday because I had an hour to spare after a meeting got canceled, and because I was a year overdue for an upgrade, and because sometimes a lady simply needs to upgrade herself. Now, as a few of you know from tedious personal experience, I don’t do casual [...]

Here’s a tip for formal summer funeral wear: Find a black cotton dress with long sleeves that roll up and button themselves into short sleeves so you can stay cool in the muggy transitions between funeral home and church and cemetary, warm in the over-air-conditioned country club where the buffet luncheon takes place. I found [...]

Earlier today I posted this Sarah Palin tribute video over at Indecision, and yes I watched the whole thing, sober, before breakfast, because that’s just the kind of dedication I bring to my job. Something about the video seemed strange yet familiar, aside from Sarah Palin talking, but I couldn’t put my finger on it [...]

Obviously — obviously — I saw and bookmarked the WaPo “where is he now” story on John Edwards. And obviously (obviously!) I made mental note of the money quote:
Yet as he spends his days in his family’s mansion on the outskirts of Chapel Hill, N.C., Edwards can’t help but fret about how Washington and the [...]

This is what happens when well-intentioned people write about my homeland.
The Kennebec Café, named after the Kennebec river, is located in Fairfield (pop. 6,573, mostly blue collar families and the occasional moose) and also serves adjacent Waterville (pop. 15,605, including the 2,000 barefooted students of Colby College).
I can’t remember the last time a moose wandered [...]

This sentence was just a lose-lose situation from the outset, comma-wise.

Via the local paper, obvs.

Arlen Specter did a thing! This thing! Okay, this thing. Sorry, no time for jokes! Hurry hurry! Reax! Get in front! We need an angle! Gotta own the morning! Also the afternoon and the evening and that eerie time when you can’t fall asleep and the sunrise is precisely three hours away! (That is the [...]

I can still tell you how to subway from 6th Ave. and 13th St. to Clinton Hill.
I still can’t remember how to parallel park.
This time next year these things will probably be reversed.