By Mary on May 24, 2010 in cheap distraction, lists, notes from the trenches | 0 Comments
1. If you stick your hand into a bag of frozen blueberries because you are too lazy to find a spoon, your bepurpled kunckles will cause people to think “something happened” (other than laziness). 2. Me: “Are you using that?” She: “No, it just won’t stop. I pressed the handle a moment ago and it’s [...]
By Mary on May 2, 2010 in approved, lists, the meaning of christmas | 2 Comments
Put your phone on silent. Keep it in your bag or in your pocket until you need to make a phone call. Advanced version: turn off the phone. Think a blazingly accurate and devastating thought about someone more successful than you. Do not type it on the internet. Make a cake. Not easily-shared, single-serving cutesy [...]
By Mary on Apr 5, 2010 in a worthy ponder, cheap distraction, cooking, lists, notes from the trenches, reading | 1 Comment
The scene: Hannaford. Also known as “Hannafuhhd.” Or “the grocery store.” The players: A woman, 40s-ish; her teenage son; an Unrelated Observer. All are in line (also known as “on line”) at the checkout. Son: Hey, we forgot something. Be right back. [Son dashes away and returns moments later with a box of granulated sugar.] [...]
By Mary on Mar 9, 2010 in cheap distraction, lists, notes from the trenches, report from the field | 0 Comments
1. Today I missed New York, specifically the feature that allows you to enter a zen-like trance by walking 30+ blocks to a distant subway stop before heading home. Driving past a series of exits on 295-South is not the same. 1a. I promptly forgot about the city when I got back to Portland and [...]
By Mary on Oct 1, 2009 in approved, lists | 1 Comment
Roaming and/or preparing to roam the East Coast (here and here and here and here and here). Remembering to renew my Flickr pro account, and therefore taking more photos. Occasional not-so-secret food tumblring. Trying to master this once and for all. Working working working, here and there and elsewhere. Hotly anticipating the forthcoming Marie Stella [...]
By Mary on Sep 15, 2009 in cheap distraction, killer trees?!, lists, politricks, report from the field, tips, ugh | 4 Comments
Man oh man, what a month. Sickness, death and packing tape, and — most recently — a fateful combination of bike + steep hill + pothole + blue Toyota + concrete + my face. Settle down, I typed ‘fateful’ not ‘fatal,’ and the ER doc gave me a handy list of brain damage symptoms to [...]
By Mary on Aug 12, 2009 in a worthy ponder, cheap distraction, lists | 7 Comments
Zach Braff I have an intense, visceral aversion to this man. Perhaps it is his contrivedly-impish facial expressions, or his over-gelled faux-floppy hair, or the accumulation of consonants at the ends of his names. Perhaps it is the fact that he made it impossible for me to listen to that Shins record after it had [...]
By Mary on Jul 3, 2009 in a worthy ponder, approved, cheap distraction, lists, the meaning of christmas | 0 Comments
…identify ‘em all and I’ll buy you a hot dog and a box of sparklers.
By Mary on Jun 30, 2009 in lists, report from the field | 0 Comments
…or, “My best friend got married in New York City this weekend and the only pictures I took were of street detritus and the subway.” Q: Why isn’t the train coming? What do I do? What’s going on? A: Deal with it.
By Mary on Jun 24, 2009 in approved, internet, lists, reading, the meaning of christmas | 1 Comment
Item! Carrie Tryharder is running a sweet summer contest, and you have until Friday, July 3 to enter. Details are as follows: The task: Turn this spam headline into something entertaining: Police end funereal striptease acts. The format: Short story, comic, photo essay, pop tune, whatever, as long as it is bloggable The prize: A [...]