Step 1. Fly to New York City. After dropping your bags in Cobble Hill, take the train to Williamsburg and get off at Bedford Avenue. Meander north to Greenpoint, making your way past the lofty glass condos that replaced your old block, through the once-weedy park that is now home to cultivated trees and popular music events. Experience a small thrill upon seeing the first apteka sign; think back to your arrival in Krakow and the excitement of tasting new words, bar mleczny and przepraszam. Make your way to the Polish liquor store on the corner by the Greenpoint Ave. G stop. Purchase a bottle of Żubrówka, also known as ‘bison grass vodka.’ Wrap it carefully in a pair of jeans, place it in a duffel bag, and check it at the airport when you fly home.

Step 2. Fill two glasses with ice. Measure a generous shot of vodka into each glass. Your shot glass doesn’t have to have a picture of a loon on it, but why not? There is nothing wrong with New England pride.

Step 3. Open a bottle of apple juice. Organic, you shameless treehugging yuppie. (It must be noted, however, that this juice tastes a lot better than the stuff from concentrate.)

Step 4. Measure two generous shots of apple juice into each glass. Stir with an old red chopstick that you bought in Chinatown. Our drink is becoming multicultural!

Step 5. The finishing touch: a sprinkle of cinnamon. Rosemont Market, represent.

Step 6. Serve to a thirsty Southerner. Repeat as needed. (Thirsty Southerner optional, if you don’t have one handy or if you just don’t want to share.)