1 spoonful peanut butter (chunky)
2 shots vodka mixed with 1 packet Emergen-C (acai berry) (yuppie!) in a glass of ice water

Or, This is how you know today was the day you got laid off from the blog you love writing for, and also your other job is ending in three weeks, and your other editor hasn’t sent you any work since February.

Way to go, today.